Tim Herrera: So, uh, why are so many of us so bad at money?
Kristin Wong: It’s a really common struggle, and honestly, there are a bunch of reasons why so many people feel lost when it comes to managing their money. First off, it’s a topic that can feel really intimidating. When you don’t know where to even begin, it’s easy to just shut down and avoid it altogether. Plus, money is still such a taboo subject in our society. Think about it – from a young age, we’re taught that it’s impolite to talk about how much we earn or save. We’re discouraged from asking those questions, which creates a culture of silence around personal finances. It’s incredibly difficult to learn about something when no one is openly discussing it. This combination of intimidation and taboo makes it so easy for people to simply ignore their finances, hoping the problems will magically disappear. But of course, they don’t. And that’s where the feeling of being “bad at money” comes from. It’s not necessarily about being inherently bad, but more about a lack of open conversation and accessible education.
TH: Okay, that makes a lot of sense. So, for someone who recognizes they’re not great with money and genuinely wants to improve, what’s the absolute first thing you’d recommend?
KW: Before diving into spreadsheets or budgeting apps, the most important first step is a bit more introspective: Ask yourself why you actually want to be better with money in the first place.
Often, people approach personal finance from a place of obligation. They think, “Okay, I’m getting older, I need to be a responsible adult now, which means I have to get my financial life in order.” While that sense of responsibility is good, it’s often not a strong enough motivator for lasting change. I’ve found it’s far more effective to really dig deep and ask yourself specifically why financial improvement matters to you.
What are your personal goals? Do you dream of traveling more, exploring new cultures, and experiencing the world? Perhaps you want the independence of moving into your own apartment, creating your own space and building a home that’s truly yours. Maybe you envision starting your own business one day, pursuing your passions and becoming your own boss. Or perhaps, on a more personal level, you simply want to feel more secure and less stressed about your financial situation, knowing you have a safety net and can handle unexpected expenses.
Framing your relationship with money in terms of your personal aspirations is crucial. Otherwise, managing your finances just feels like a tedious chore, another item on your to-do list that you dread. The first step, therefore, is a mindset shift – figure out your “why.” What is it that you truly want to achieve, and how can better money management help you get there? Once you have that clear “why,” the practical steps become much more meaningful and motivating. And from there, the very first practical step I always recommend is to track your spending.
Now, when I say track your spending, I don’t just mean setting up a budget and hoping for the best. I mean actually writing down every single thing you spend money on, no matter how small, for at least a month. Use a notebook, a spreadsheet, or a budgeting app – whatever works best for you. The key is to be meticulous and record absolutely everything. Most of us think we have a pretty good handle on where our money goes, but you might be surprised – and often, a little shocked – at all the small, seemingly insignificant purchases that add up over time. It’s eye-opening to see how much you’re tempted to spend when you’re forced to confront every single transaction by writing it down. This process of mindful tracking is the foundation for understanding your current financial habits and making informed changes. Maybe, with better financial habits, My Money Would Be Nyt, appearing in headlines for smart financial decisions!
TH: That’s really insightful – focusing on the “why” first. Okay, so once someone understands their “why” and is ready to track their spending, what’s a good system to use? What do you personally use to track your own expenses?
KW: For tracking my spending, I actually still rely on good, old-fashioned pen and paper. I find it to be the most effective method for me. I keep a small pocket notebook with me at all times, and I make it a habit to write down every purchase I make as soon as possible after I make it. There’s something about the physical act of writing that makes the spending feel more real and less abstract.
But I actually take it a step further than just recording purchases. In my notebook, I also jot down the things I’m tempted to buy but decide against. This is a really important part of the process. I also make notes about how I’m feeling in moments when I have the urge to spend money impulsively. Am I stressed? Bored? Happy? Sad? Understanding the emotional triggers behind your spending habits is incredibly valuable. And finally, I use my notebook to track any patterns or habits I notice over time. Are there certain times of day, days of the week, or situations where I’m more likely to overspend?
It might sound a little “touchy-feely” to some people, but learning to be good with money really has so much to do with learning to manage your habits and understand your own behavior. Money management isn’t just about numbers and spreadsheets; it’s fundamentally about understanding yourself and your relationship with spending and saving.
